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Welcome To Conscious Friends
March 22, 2009

Hello and welcome to Conscious Friends, a community of The Conscious Living Foundation!

As you know, our site was created to support those interested in spiritual and personal growth. Along the way, many of us have realized that relationships are an important part of creating and maintaining a harmonious and uplifting life.

To that end, The Conscious Living Foundation is pleased to offer these pages on our site in the hope that we all can find new like-minded friends and perhaps develop deeper relationships.

There are several ways to visit these pages.  As a...more

50 Benefits of Meditation
June 17, 2008
Meditation literally means, "thinking process with present moment awareness".

1.) To have healthy heart.
2.) To have normal blood pressure.
3.) To have normal cholesterol.
4.) To prevent stroke / paralysis.
5.) To have perfect digestion.
6.) To have perfect weight.
7.) To have perfect sleep.
8.) To become a perfect choice maker.
9.) To reverse and regress ageing.
10.) To remain young.
11.) To prevent cancer.
12.) To become embodiment of positive emotions.
13.) To get rid of negative emotions. more

Is Consciousness Energy?
June 11, 2008
If you tune into someone's "vibrations," are you picking up some form of energy they are emitting - perhaps something we might call "psychic energy?"

It may be tempting to think so . . . to think of consciousness as a form of energy. But is it?

What might be going on when we say we feel someone's vibrations?

Well, one possibility is that their brain or their body could be sending out waves of energy - something, perhaps, like electricity. If so, it must be far more subtle than any form of energy known to...

100 Ideas for Creating a More Peaceful World
May 20, 2008

Creating world peace takes many forms, but surely it begins with individuals. Here are 100 ideas for creating a more peaceful world. Everyone can play a part in creating peace. It continues to be the most significant challenge of humankind and requires the efforts of each of us.

[The list contains only 97 Ideas because I removed broken links to defunct websites.

You can bring it back to 100 Ideas by adding your own for Creating a More Peaceful World!

When you do, take a moment to post your additions on the Conscious...more

Recipe for Simplicity
May 6, 2008

"Simplify, Simplify…" More than a century after Henry David Thoreau uttered these words, his plea for simplicity has more significance now than ever before.

We work hard and play hard, filling nearly every moment with activity. Most families believe they need two incomes to pay for a standard of living that has doubled in the last 50 years. But do we?

Based on my three-year study of over 200 people who have simplified their lives, I found that we can work less, want less, and spend less, and be happier and more fulfilled in the process.

Here are ten...more

Spiritual Diversity
April 29, 2008

To our pre-Christian spiritual ancestors, spirituality was both contemporary and relevant. In cultures where polytheism (the belief in many gods) was the rule, rather than the exception, individuals were given the ability to find their own beliefs and to choose their own spiritual paths based upon their personal needs and the calling of their own hearts. Households had specific deities that represented the prosperity and protection that the family hoped for their home. Agricultural festivals had gods that watched over the planting, the growing crops, and the harvest. This diverse pantheon of deities created a culture where a person would draw closest to the god...more

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The Perfect Imperfection of Our Relationships
February 22, 2007

In the course of my practice, I've increasingly been met by people with relationship problems -- spouses, lovers, parents, children, even the living and the departed -- people whose lives are disrupted by various issues regarding the ones they love, have loved or regarding the search for love.

Some, maybe most, of this increasing disturbance in relationships can be attributed to Earth Changes -- the changes of energies associated with astrological and solar upheaval impelling Earth's citizens toward Ascension. But Earth Changes, Ascension, Zero Point, End of Times, etc., energies only accelerate our spiritual paths, they don't make the lessons we are meant to -- or chose to -- confront in the Earth school. Consciously taking the road to Ascension makes our path quicker but the lessons are the same.

Some call these upheavals control dramas. In this view, when spouses fight, couples break up, individuals rage or withdraw, the events are seen as methods for one person to gain control over another or steal energy or control in a relationship. This viewpoint has merit and can be a component. But, in my mind, these relationship scenarios might more accurately be called lack of control dramas. I prefer to call them personal dramas or simply dramas.

A control drama or personal drama, at heart, is a device of the personality (or ego) to make the individual do what he or she should be doing anyway. It simply puts the issue squarely at center in a relationship where it cannot be avoided.

It's very wasteful energetically; but sometimes what we want is not what we truly need. Nor are we always strong or brave enough to confront our individual truths. Then, the drama takes over. If we were perfect masters of our relationships, we would confront personal issues without so much drama; it has to do with spiritual discipline; but drama will do the trick.

For example, if two people are too clingy, losing selfhood in a relationship, there may be fights, resentment, etc. It's basically a lack of balance in the relationship; each must balance nurturing of self with giving of self to the other.

What each person believes he or she requires in a relationship may vary and long-term imbalances can occur; or they can be short-term imbalances. All seek balance in our relationships and are happy when we find it (although one's balance may not be the balance another seeks).

If mastery of balance is not attained in one relationship, the lesson will recur in the next and the next until it is learned. But each relationship is an opportunity for self-discovery with the reward of mutual growth -- even miracles. We must find the balance of wholeness, in ourselves, with others. It is a riddle: We each seek wholeness in our relationships, yet we cannot have a positive and fulfilling relationship until we are each whole. There can be no getting without giving; we cannot give what we do not have. Wholeness finds wholeness and completion. There can be no all yin and all yang; each must be complete unto itself to find balance, wholeness and completion.

Yet, we are imperfect beings. If we were perfect, we would need no one. We would be complete unto ourselves. But we live in polarity, light and dark, up and down, male and female. The Creator knows perfection, where there is no polarity, but we do not. We can strive for it, make progress toward it, but attaining perfection is not the normal lot of the inhabitants of the Earth school. We would not be here unless we had lessons to learn. And we must share with others to learn the lessons.

How do we solve this riddle? True love is giving, not limiting. It is encouraging freedom and individuality while sharing, giving those differences to the relationship to create a greater, mutual wholeness.

The riddle again: You cannot hold love in your heart without releasing it -- to return enriched, greater than it was before.

That is the risk of love, the challenge, the test, the fear maker. Yet releasing must be done to build love, to make it grow.

As painful as it may be to lose love, to end a relationship, the real pain is in holding on to a relationship too closely so it cannot grow. Both people in the relationship are harmed, both are shortchanged, for the strength and power of love is its ability to grow, to be unbounded, a wellspring never ceasing. It is, once again, balance.

A lot of what is written about love and relationships -- reflected in movies, TV, novels, popular songs -- does not describe love but dependency or, as the psychologists call it, codependency. You cannot live without someone, as the songs suggest? If that's true, you cannot live. Neither can you love. Sustaining love is self-sustaining, like life itself.

The caged bird cannot fly. But love always comes home to roost, if its home is in the heart and not the mind. I would recommend anyone interested in relationships to read "Walking Between the Worlds: The Science of Compassion" by Gregg Braden (Radio Bookstore Press; Bellevue, Wash.; 1997).

I believe what he says is true about the Essene Mirrors, that our relationships are mirrors of ourselves. Our most intimate relationships reflect the most intimate areas of growth that we need. The areas that keep returning are ones that will keep returning until we get them right.

I have found this to be true. But, remember, also, relationships change just as we do. Our outer world reflects our inner world and our most intimate partners, when their lessons are similar to our own, will change according to the changes we make, if they are willing to be partners in the personal, individual, inner work of their growth, as well.

How Long Do Relationships Last?

Relationships generally last as long as they are needed. Some are lifelong relationships; some are not. But as long as we try to cling to a relationship, without growing, it is surely doomed. For relationships that don't grow will inevitably falter on the narrowing base of the balance of experience and expectation. That is the freedom and responsibility of love, true love: respect, honor, freedom, growth ... partnership. It's hard, yes. It's hard to love another, with true love, unconditional love, allowing the other person to be him or herself. But it's hard because it requires we recognize, nourish and commit to our individual love, growth and development, too. How can we give something to someone else that we don't give ourselves? If we love ourselves, our true "self," then we can love others with unbounded passion, since that love comes from the wellspring of the heart, not the expectations of the mind.
It is eternal and based on the type of love, unconditional love, that is given by the Creator and reflected all around us.

But if we love with restrictions and "I love this, but not that," which is what we too often do to ourselves, creating and sustaining our shadow self that we reject in and of ourselves, then our love of another will be limited and limiting, as well. And it will be based on deception: betrayal of ourselves; doomed.

All betrayal is ultimately self betrayal. When we refuse to see certain aspects in another or in a situation, it is the denial of that truth that betrays us. No one is perfect. Our love is not perfect, for we are human, not God (though we each have the Divine within us and are co-creators). But we can seek to use the mirrors of our relationships as roadmaps to progress in ourselves.

Where awareness goes, consciousness follows and manifestation of being is born.

Balance in a relationship reflects the balance of care for ourselves. If we are too selfish, we cannot find sustaining love; if we are too selfless, we cannot find sustaining love. An unbalanced relationship cannot stand. We can, when drama arises, step back, assess, see if we are truly seeing (the shamanistic practice of discernment) or are reacting; discern if we are learning, growing, or just falling back on old patterns. This is the art of impeccability, being true to ourselves.

Remember, we come into this life naked and alone; we will leave it naked before the Creator despite whatever material things are heaped around us, and our atonement - - at-one-ment -- will be our own, then, also. The universe responds to our wants (intent) and needs (perception of self). Unfortunately, these are largely formed by society/culture and not usually the product of inner exploration and outward discovery (which is actually the mirror of inner exploration).

So, we set our sights -- and create our reality -- based on premises that are not our own and we are left wanting. We enter relationships with what we think we want and need. The universe knows only truth, perfection as an active principle, and is not deceived. Since we ask for imperfection, we receive perfect imperfection. Since each moment is the Mind Of God, we receive both what we think we want and need and what we truly do -- which is the way toward perfection, or the answer to the riddle we posed.

By facing the false (what we think we want and need), we are given the opportunity to discern what we truly want and need.

There lies the perfection of the perfect imperfection. Which, at heart, is our selves in this world of polarity.

The answer is in ourselves all along. We are perfect mirrors of what we seek, with the questions and the answers all of one piece, our relationships clues toward solving the perfect imperfection.

The question will I find the perfect mate? is, rather, will I find the perfect me? The answer: It is there all along. It has only to come into being (manifestation) for you to recognize it. That requires you to act and not wait for another who may not materialize, or simply to react. Our personal growth is our own responsibility and cannot be foisted upon another. Our mirrors reflect this progress toward this truth.

Look in the mirror and see what your mirror tells you:

Question: Will I find my soul mate?
Answer: Will you find your soul? (All your relations are soul mates, reflections of different aspects of you.)

Question: Can I find someone to trust?
Answer: Can you (do you?) trust your self?

Question: Will someone ever love me?]
Answer: Will you ever love your self?

Complaint: I don't want to be alone!
Declaration: Then don't be lonely!

As You Change, Your Relationships Will Change

We choose who, what and how we will be in each moment. If you want to change your relationships, change yourself. If you want change, then become different. Moment by moment, day by day. As you change, your relationships will change. You must embrace what you want and release what you don't want. That is your responsibility, not to chain yourself to old habits or patterns of behavior -- and, thereby, not chain yourself to relationships that no longer serve you. You cannot control others, but you can control yourself. Does this mean that commitment means nothing? Of course not. Commitment can be the highest expression of love between two people. But you owe it to yourself and your relationship to ask: What are you committing to? And what is your commitment? Commitment means aiming for the best possible sharing and growth for your relationship -- for you and for your partner -- as circumstances or the present allows.
Commitment, however, does not mean being shackled forever by an unfulfilling, unrewarding or outgrown relationship. The choice and the responsibility is our own. As my friend Allison Rae of Sedona, Ariz. (See her webpage: The Star Center at relates, we must in this time of change align ourselves first with our higher selves. It may be that our relationships are falling away as we do this. But we must do it for our own salvation, our commitment to ourselves to fulfil our greatest destiny. "As we align, we raise our frequency. As we raise our frequency, we notice old relationships falling away with others who do not share our values, our ideals, our commitment to spiritual growth. We release and grieve the loss," she says. "This creates an opening for new partners to enter our lives. Conscious relationship involves two beings whose first commitment is to Spirit -- service to the divine force of all Creation and the path of conscious evolution. With that commitment firmly in place, we are then able to draw in a partner of similar intent. But if we do have a partner who is on the same path, we can continue to grow and evolve in love, commitment and service.

"The most honest commitment we can make with our human partner," she says, is to share the Earth walk for as long as it serves our growth and the divine plan. "Our biggest challenge in conscious relationship is to open our heart fully and freely, without fear of the pain of loss. Like everything else, relationships follow the flow of Creation. They begin, they grow, they end. If we are afraid of the ending from the beginning, we will not receive the growth. We must open our hearts to fully feel and experience all phases of the relationship in order to move forward on our soul path."

If there is a commitment between two partners to grow together, they must commit to change: change in self, change in the other, change in relationships. Yes, there is the risk of loss, of losing the relationship, but there is also risk for the greater reward: a lasting, loving, growing relationship that becomes ever richer and fulfilling.

Relationships grow through change; they are renewed through change.


Commitment is built through change and reaffirmed through change.

Remember, love grows by giving it, releasing it, without limit, without restriction. If you and your partner share true love, you will be unafraid to love, completely, with trust, honesty, fairness, and commitment -- to love that person as you do yourself and, thereby, nurture individual and mutual growth. Ask your partner: What can we do to make our love grow? What should we do, individually and together, to build our relationship?

Each ask and share the answer: What do I need?

Commitment is expressed through dialogue, through sharing thoughts and experiences. It is important to establish basic understandings and realize that they change over time, as experience is accrued. It is important to keep dialogue open and, however uncomfortable, to address and resolve conflicts, changes or developing issues.

The greatest obstacle to keeping a relationship is fear, fear of losing a relationship that means so much that it can sabotage that relationship by stifling crucial communication, thus spawning more fear and miscommunication.

If you can find peace in a mutual and equal accommodation (even, and maybe especially, if it requires thoughtful sacrifice -- balance -- from both), your love and commitment will grow.

It is imbalance, often through lack of honest communication, that cripples relationships.

If you cannot face these issues, then what is being committed to? Are you willing to limit and shortchange yourself and your partner by not asking and answering these questions honestly?

If you don't face this, expect more dramas.

Remember, we do this work, this study of non-ordinary reality, the realm of spirit, the discovery of the unknown, through alternative, complementary, vibrational or energy medicine, through Reiki, shamanism, Consegrity, or whatever may be our modality, not to escape reality but to discern it more clearly, to accelerate our healing, growth and development, and that of others in our Sacred Circle, and the Earth itself.
We each are crucial in The Sacred Hoop of Life. Love is sharing what we have of heart, mind and soul with another, discovering it in ourselves, with newness and aliveness, truly living.

If we accept that challenge, of risk, of trust, of reaching out, we will find setbacks and barriers, but we will find freedom, too. And that is the joy we can hold eternally in ourselves as we step into the next realm. In relationships, we may not find who we are looking for, but we will find who will meet. That is truth. We meet ourselves at every step of the way. For each moment is reality; each moment is a gift, an eternal present; the past is gone, the future not yet.

We can either accept the reality of our surroundings, the relationships that are and the opportunities before us, and participate, discovering ourselves in what the Creator has freely given us, or we can always be looking over the horizon for the imaginary, focusing on the "lack" or incompleteness of the moment, making it our destiny, and fail to recognize the miracles that surround us in the moment, each moment -- which can at any moment transform into new realities of being. To love the moment is to love ourselves and what the Creator has given us, however we may judge it with our tiny consciousness.

If we are open to the Big Mind, the Nagual, the unnamed and unnameable of each moment, we expand ourselves and our opportunities. That is where miracles of all kinds, including miracles of the heart, are born.

And, as with all things, we must have forgiveness, compassion and prayer. In The Sacred Hoop Of Life, when we see a person through the eyes of spirit, it changes who we both are. Our actions are then determined by spirit, not want, not control, for we are then acting from a position of abundance, from the Source of abundance, the heart, the Mind Of God, and both action and thought have tremendous impact on our environment. Can we find perfection? No. Only perfect being is perfect and we are not perfect beings. Our diversity is in fact our strength. But we can recognize the perfect imperfection of love and relationships in this world of polarity and we can commit to progress in all we do. A hint: It is sometimes hard to let go, but it is easy to step aside and let the Creator take over.

Mitakuye Oyasin!

About This Contributor: Jim Ewing is a Reiki master/teacher and shamanic healer who lives in Lena, Mississippi. Author of Clearing: A Guide to Liberating Energies Trapped in Buildings and Lands

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